Moving at a Slower Pace

One of the key parts of Intentional Living is paying attention to our bodies. What are we feeling? Where do we carry our emotions? Where do I feel joy or fear or anger--my back, my chest, my stomach?

As the 'darker' months of winter approach and we start losing more and more daylight hours I notice my body slowing down, I am forced inside more so I don't take my evening walks anymore or do afternoon yard work. Rather I notice I am sleeping longer, hanging on the couch more and longing for quiet relaxing moments rather than the energetic bursts I had throughout the summer months.

In the past, I would have belittled myself for this lack of energy, wondered what was wrong, made myself feel guilty and shamed for not doing enough or being productive. But after years of paying attention to my body I recognize--this is a natural shift for me--an organic progression into the next season one of rest and renewal where my body does shift into a desire of more comfort and care than in previous months.

The trick is to first pay attention to yourself and recognize these natural shifts and secondly to embrace them. On a Saturday when you body needs an extra hour of sleep because it is still dark out take that extra hour. When you crave time to just curl up on the couch and read a good book but the dirty dishes are calling your name--pick the book. Intentional Living means listening to our bodies and the natural rhythms they give us. The more we listen to and embrace our bodies messages the more joy we will experience on a daily basis.

Storytelling

Recently I was talking with a woman about dads (a little background on how we got on that subject--as we started talking her dad called and she answered it and their conversation reminded me of one of mine with my dad after she hung up I told her so) and she shared that her mom had just died a month ago. She shared (after I asked) that although her mom had been frail she died rather suddenly and her dad was now 'broken hearted'. What a sad story. The most amazing part was here she is sharing this story and was clearly having mixed emotions a. she needed to talk about it and b. she didn't want to burden a complete stranger--so common that we all are dealing with our own pain and burdens and frequently when we share our story with someone it sounds more like a news report or that we are talking about the weather then the fact that we are in major pain. It strikes me how rare it is to have people who REALLY listen to our stories without judgment or advice or wanting to share their story--just that concept of 'holding the space' for someone. Who do you have in your life how truly listens to your stories? Whose stories do you truly listen to?

Maximize the Joy Minimize the Pain

I was able to take 7 days out of my summer to drive across country. Just me and my rental Honda Accord. One of the things, I love about traveling is that it really expands my view. Having the ability just to chat with random strangers and see different areas takes me out of my day to day life and day to day problems. It makes me realize every person has a story, with worries and traumas and people they love and people they hurt and they are all trying to do the best they can with what they have (I love that phrase) and it certainly makes my problems and worries seem less gigantic. Because really we are all just trying to figure it out--trying to be good people and minimize the pain and maximize the joys of life.

Embrace the Fummer

I love this time of year--the strange time when summer the heat of summer is not quite over but the cold of winter isn't here yet either. It is too hot for sweaters during the day but too cold for shorts at night. It isn't quite summer and it isn't quite fall--it is in between--"fummer" if you will. It got me thinking about all the times throughout our lives when we are in a fummer--not quite one place or the other--we are simply on the road. Not quite in that perfect relationship, not quite figured out the job, not quite happy. We are in fummer--actually most of our lives we are in that in between place--we just don't realize it or embrace it. To often we are waiting for the next season or long for the past season. We are fantasizing about the snow or depressed because the days by the pool are gone. We aren't enjoying the fummer when it is sunny and bright during the day and cool enough to have the windows open at night. We are dreaming about when our job will be perfect and missing out on the fact that we had a great meeting this morning or received a compliment from a boss today. We lament 'the one that got away' rather than seeing the funny cute woman at the coffee shop who talks to us every time we are in there. We miss the fummer because we are too busy looking at our past or leaping into the future. Enjoy your fummer! It won't be here for long!!

Life Lessons

It always amazes me how life seems to present us with the same lessons over and over again in different forms until we really get it. Speaking your needs is one of those life lessons. It is an important part of living intentionally--if we don't speak our needs we don't let people see our authentic self. A friend of mine is learning this lesson--first he learned how to speak his needs with his family--how to stand up for himself and be genuine in how he lived his life. Then he had to learn how to do it with his boss in his workplace how to speak up when he needed more time for a project of more help with an assignment. And recently we were talking because the same lesson came to him with one of his friends. Here he thought he had learned the lesson--he had figured out how to speak his needs and live genuinely and then he noticed he wasn't doing that with some of his friends--he was hiding himself because he was scared of sharing his needs. "Wow he said to me--isn't it amazing that the same lessons come to us in a variety of different costumes" So true. It is our responsibility to keep an eye our for those costumes/situations and embrace the lessons they give us.

Welcome

In both my presentations and my private practice I am fascinated by the use of stories. The stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we tell each other. I believe stories play an invaluable role in life. Our stories define who we are, they help us express ourselves and they give us a common ground to understand each other. This blog is to share some of those stories. Stories from my own life and others that illustrate the struggle and joy we have in living a life with passion, purpose, balance and awareness. Please check back regularly and start paying attention and listening to the stories around you.