Front Porch Living

Hands down the favorite part of my house is my front porch. My front porch has 2 white rocking chairs and sits close enough to the street that I can chat with people who walk by or I can chose to ignore them depending on my mood :) I admit usually I chat because that is why I love my front porch--it connects me with my world. In the spring/summer I spend hours on my front porch: reading, working, talking to neighbors, or just sitting. Growing up the front porch was the meeting place, the center of our home in the summer time. My family and I passed hours on the porch talking, laughing hanging out.

To me the front porch represents relaxation, joy, peace, community, relationships and home. So yesterday when I decided it was warm enough to pull out my rockers I must admit I did a little happy dance. It got me thinking that there aren't many places in my world that represent such goodness as my front porch. It is my place of refuge, of safety of 'Ah I made it through another day' or 'thank God for the beauty of nature' or 'my stomach hurts from laughing with my friends and neighbors'. We all need one of those places--a special place we can regroup a place that allows us to ground and return to a sense of peace. A place where we can take a big deep breath! It we are living intentionally we need a place to let our hair down, to laugh to cry to be ourselves.

So I raise a toast to my front porch and pose the question--where do you do your 'front porch living'? Where is your personal refuge?

The Other

While traveling in South Africa--we learned about the history and present day effects of apartheid.  Throughout our trip we had the chance to hear the story and philosophy of apartheid-how it began and why it persisted for decades.  As many of you know, I am fascinated by story and the story of apartheid is a complex story full of victims and heroes on both sides. 

What struck me most about the stories was how easy it is turn people into the 'other'.  Once we 'otherize' a person it is far easier to hurt them and ridicule them. Even hearing the story of apartheid it was my temptation to turn the people that started the system into criminals--then I realized they had a story too.  Yes, what that group (the Afrikaners) did was atrocious and hate-filled yet they had a story behind why they did it--they felt like victims in their own right--they felt like it was "God's will" for them to be superior.  I am in NO WAY approving, or justifying what that group did but I do think it is important to understand WHY they did what they did so we can prevent it in the future. 

On a smaller level, in our every day lives we 'otherize' all the time--with someone we have a conflict with, someone who is different from us or has a different view point from us.  We hear a story and we make a judgment.  If we the goal is to be intentional in our lives than we have to be aware of the temptation to 'otherize'-- to view people with curiosity and validation.  Yes there is evil in the world but there is also a story behind that evil. A reason behind why someone feels justified to say or do something cruel or hateful.  It is my intention rather than to jump into judgment and label someone to 'view their humanity' and have curiosity around their actions or viewpoint.  To understand where they are coming from rather than immediately thinking they are wrong.  

Peace building starts with validating the humanity of the other person.  Such a sweet statement--validating your humanity.  So in small ways we can start doing that--first with ourselves and then with the people we see in a day--the guy who cuts us off in traffic, the sales clerk who is a little rude, the co-worker who annoys us--instead of 'otherizing' and sitting in judgement them think of their humanity!---Maybe the guy just heard his wife was in the hospital, or maybe the clerk has just worked a 15 hour day, and your co-worker was up all night with a crying baby.  Have some curiosity around their humanity ---Ok so at least honk your horn and THEN think of his humanity :) 

Perspective

Well I have returned from South Africa--such a fabulous trip full of life lessons which I plan on sharing here over the next few weeks.

When I left on the trip I said to a friend of mine that I wanted this trip to be life changing--she then said to me "what would you want to change about your life?" At the time I couldn't come up with a response and I decided I would take that question with me to South Africa. Within the first few nights I realized the thing I wanted to change the most was worrying about stupid meaningless stuff.

Throughout my trip I was frequently reminded of the movie Grand Canyon--in the movie Danny Glover is telling Kevin Kline about his visit to the Grand Canyon and the fact that he felt because these rocks had been there for millions of years they were laughing at him and all his problems--and it helped him put his life in perspective--as he said made him realize in the spectrum of the whole world his life was small "as small as a gnat on the back of a cow when you are driving by at 60 mph" I absolutely love that quote and frequently when I am feeling overwhelmed by my life I think about it. It kept coming to me as we drove through complete poverty in many areas, or as we witnessed the ocean and the mountains. In that place and time I was able to concentrate on what really mattered to me. Does it really matter if I miss a workout, it is it really important if I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, will my life be dramatically altered if I have no plans on a Friday night?

Perspective is an amazing thing. Looking at your life and figuring out "what really matters here"? How much time do I waste spinning out on the stuff that doesn't matter....it is a life changing realization.