Colds, Flashbacks and Fummers

So today I was going to write on Taking a Break and then somewhere along the way I caught a cold.  Ironically...I am being forced to take a break and take care of myself.  So I am sharing a flash back post from September 2008 today:  

I love this time of year--the strange time when summer the heat of summer is not quite over but the cold of winter isn't here yet either. It is too hot for sweaters during the day but too cold for shorts at night.  It isn't quite summer and it isn't quite fall--it is in between--"fummer" if you will.

 It got me thinking about all the times throughout our lives when we are in a fummer--not quite one place or the other--we are simply on the road. Not quite in that perfect relationship, not quite figured out the job, not quite happy. We are in fummer--actually most of our lives we are in that in between place--we just don't realize it or embrace it. To often we are waiting for the next season or long for the past season. We are fantasizing about the snow or depressed because the days by the pool are gone. 

We aren't enjoying the fummer when it is sunny and bright during the day and cool enough to have the windows open at night. We are dreaming about when our job will be perfect and missing out on the fact that we had a great meeting this morning or received a compliment from a boss today. We lament 'the one that got away' rather than seeing the funny cute woman at the coffee shop who talks to us every time we are in there. We miss the fummer because we are too busy looking at our past or leaping into the future. Enjoy your fummer! It won't be here for long!!

Dealing with a Demanding Boss

For as long as I can remember my dad has worked for himself.  He has always been a hard worker both in his professional life and in his personal life.  Whether working with clients, or working in the yard he has always pushed himself sometimes beyond his limits.  To say the least he has a tough work ethic.  Frequently my mom will get frustrated with him working so hard and will jokingly say to him "I hate your boss, he just never lets up on you, he is so demanding".  It is a loving way to remind him that he is the one driving himself to exhaustion, he is the one pushing himself past the point of comfort, he is the one who is setting his schedule, his goal, and his long term planning.  It is also a great way to separate himself from his 'boss', to give him some perspective.

To some extent all of us have a 'tough boss' inside of us.  Even if we don't work for ourselves, we still have the little voice (the fear monger, the inner critic, the gremlin) that tells us we aren't good enough.  That tells us to keep working harder, be more dependable, more responsible, more on 'top of things'.  So frequently that boss voice plays there under our subconscious over and over again.

I am constantly amazed that I could complete the same amount of tasks/stuff on two different days and one day my 'boss' would be ok with it and one day my 'boss' would be riding me ass that I didn't accomplish enough.  The difference in the days depends on a lot of variables:  how good I am feeling when I start out the day, how much time I had in the day, my expectations for the day etc.  But the biggest variable I have found is how much credence I give to the "boss" in my head.  The amount of time I let my boss just pick at me unchecked is frequently the key to whether or not I end the day happier or not.

So I have found a great way to combat my boss is to first notice him there.  To be aware that I am being extremely harsh on myself,  I am aware of that in how I feel about my work (usually negative), how I carry my body (I tend to get a tightness in my neck/chest), the words that come out of my mouth (usually more discouraged and down), the thoughts that toss around in my head (pretty negative and self sabotaging).  All of these variable show me that maybe my boss is being a little too tough.  And then I will say something to my internal 'boss'.  Letting my boss know that she is not in charge here that I have some say and that although I love her for keeping me on task I need a little more support if I am really going to be a success.  MOST of the time she settles down and the 'push' decreases, occasionally I need to address her multiple times in the day before she will settle.  It is this awareness of my boss and the acknowledgement that she is just a part of me not my whole being that helps me work with her instead of against her.

What about you? How does your internal boss manifest itself?  What ways have you found to lovingly deal with him/her?

Ending the "I Have Never Liked My Job" Lament

We all know that the economy is challenging right now.  I have had a number of clients (I would say the majority) who are motivated to come see me due to a pending merger, layoff or buyout.   I have had clients ranging from 25-65 who's jobs and lives have been effected by the economy.

I was struck by one client who during her free 20 minute session asked...I am 62..Am I too old to work with you? "Absolutely Not, I replied"  "No one is too old to figure out what makes their heart sing" "Good," she replied "That's what I thought too." When I hung up the phone with her I was thrilled. Here was a woman in her 60s who hadn't given up hope, who was motivated and excited to say "I am ready to work happier".  Even though she had the common lament of "I have never liked my job" she was ready to change that and finally find something she loved to do.

When she came into see me she was a mix of excitement about what comes next and fear about the uncertainty of it all.  She had just talked with her financial planner who had painted a gloomy picture of working for the next 5+ years and struggling to make ends meet.  But the financial planner had given her a number she had to meet, an amount she had to bring in every year.  So, as she said "All I have to do is find a job(s) I love that matches that number".  She was excited about "finally doing something she loved", "getting out from behind the desk".  So as with all my clients we began brainstorming the various ideas she had and by the time she left she had 4-5 job ideas as well as a plan for making them come to light.  When she left she was a completely different person then when she came in.  She was excited, energized, and ready to get working.  She had a plan, an idea a way to move forward out of the doom and gloom of losing her job.

Another client recently told me 'I am half way through my career life and I have never liked my job."  That is a common lament.  I don't believe we are told we CAN find a job we love, we are told to suck it up, pay the bills, work 8-5 and retire.  We are told the economy is bad, jobs are scarce, keep your head down and stay on track.  Never mind that you barely can get out of bed to make it to your job, or that you come home exhausted and unfulfilled.  Never mind that you have spent 20+ years of your life working all day at a job you think is OK.

I believe we can find a job we love, even in this economy. I believe we don't have to 'suck it up', 'keep our heads down' and just plug along until we retire.  I believe all of us deserve a life that is engaging, full of passion and helps us reach our full potential.  I believe to live this life we need to be honest about what we want out of life, to know our values and our goals, to know how much money we need to make to sustain our lifestyle, and then to get creative and think out of the box on how we can achieve our goals. Do I believe it is easy? No.  Do I believe it is for the faint of heart? No.  Do I believe it takes time, perseverance, desire and drive? Yes.  Do I believe it is worth it? YES!!   Do I believe I can help you get there? Absolutely!

What if you just started exploring the career that might make your heart sing?  What if you looked at your finances/goals/needs and figure out what you needed in a practical sense to move forward? What if you started paying attention to what are the voices, doubts, and road blocks that are keeping your stuck? What if you were finally able to work happier?  Together one step at a time we can end the "I Have Never Liked my Job" lament.

Happiness According to Mad Men

The other night we were watching Mad Men--(yes I know I am a little late to this party,we finally got on board and started with watching Season 1 and it has lived up to all the hype).  For those of you who are late to the party, like me, Mad Men is a TV show about an advertising agency which takes place in the 50s.  Frequently when we are watching TV/movies I get struck by a random quote, which makes TV watching all the more enjoyable. In the first episode of the first season,  one of the ad execs gave a definition of happiness that made me sit up and scream "yes!!"

".....And do you know what happiness is?  Happiness is the smell of a new car.  It's freedom from fear.  It's a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you're doing is OK. You are OK. "

So granted, this quote pertains to advertising and the back story involves an ad campaign for Lucky Strike cigarettes shortly after it was released that smoking will kill you, but I have been thinking and thinking about this quote tossing it around seeing if it really fits the general definition of happiness and I believe it does.

When I think to the times the that I have been the happiest, my wedding day, being on vacation, or working with a client.  During those times I was feeling confident, secure, positive and I was getting confident, secure, positive feedback around me.  I knew what I was doing was OK.  I knew I was where I needed to be, making choices I needed to make and was feeling the support of my own gut as well as the people around me.

Similarly I think about days when I am feeling happy vs days I am not and the simple tasks that one day might make me happy while the next day I resent. Walking my dog, Mocha is a great example.  Frequently there are times that I walk her and I just feel giddy...she is excited and joyful, the day is beautiful, we are out of the house getting fresh air and I am fully present and happy.  And then there are days like yesterday when  I head out to walk the dog because I haven't done so in 3 days and I am bitter and feeling bad that I haven't walked her, we are running late and that my to do list is a mile long. So I spend the walk feeling insecure, unconfident and ineffective, Not present, Not joyful. Basically...not happy.

I see it frequently with clients who leave my office all excited that they have figured out what comes next in their career, their gut is telling them it is a good idea, the research they have done is telling them it is a good idea and their support system is telling them it is a good idea. They are OK, they are happy.  Then they leave my office, head out into the world to network, job search, apply to grad school and they get rejected, disappointed or hurt and they aren't feeling reassured anymore they aren't ok.  They aren't happy.  But it isn't because they have picked the wrong career or that their heart can't sing.  It is the ebbs and flows of happiness.

I do believe happiness comes and goes...there are days when I am more happy, more confident, more self assured then others.  There are days when all pistons are firing, conversations with clients are dead on, writing is fluid and I absolutely adore my job.  And then there are days when I can't come up with an idea to save my life, client meetings are stilted and cloudy and I question my value as a career counselor.

So how do we fix the unhappy days?  The key I have found (and I open to your thoughts) is to recognize we are going to have off days.  We are going to have days when we aren't clicking, when the world outside and inside is making us question our choices. The trick comes in recognizing those days are all part of the journey.  Happiness will come, we will feel OK again.  The power in change is keeping moving, keep carrying on even when we are having an off day, even when we aren't 'feeling it' knowing that it is a temporary glitch in our long term plan.  When we can recognize that the self doubt and feeling 'not ok' are all part of the process of life we can slow down and let those days pass without taking them on as 'the truth'.  Then when the happy days come we can celebrate them with gusto!!

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the quote?  How has happiness or "feeling OK" played out in your life?

My AWOL Iphone.

Photo Credit: RenaissanceChambara

Over the weekend I decided to stop using my iPhone.  The true confession is there are few things in the world I love more than my iPhone.  I know that sounds pathetic...which is one reason I decided to get rid of it.  But when it comes to possessions, things I owned, used and enjoyed I would have placed my iPhone at the top of the list.  If you knew me you knew my iPhone--it was like an appendage.  So when my iPhone went AWOL at the Dave Matthews Band concert I was surprised by my reaction.  I didn't  freak out (ok I did freak out a little but I didn't totally lose it) I remained calm and collected and quickly moved to acceptance.

In reality, although I said I loved my phone I really had a love hate relationship with it. I loved it's technology, being connected all the time, the many apps that I found useful.  But I didn't like that I frequently used it as an excuse to check out of social situations, I would find myself on my iPhone rather than talking to my nearest and dearest or interacting with friends.  I thought I NEEDED to be connected all the time and then realized how much I resented being connected.  But I admit I never would have thought to let it go myself.  Until it went AWOL...maybe my iPhone knew it was time to move on, time for me to grow, time to see what life is like not quite as connected.  So now I have a regular cell phone (I didn't go completely unconnected!!) and I have to say it has been amazingly fabulous!!  I have been more present, less anxious, and more grounded.  I never realized how much I had begun to resent my phone.

Which got me thinking how many other areas of my life could be simplified?  How many patterns/habits/toys do we just keep around even though they aren't serving us anymore? So often we keep plugging along...doing what we always have done even if it doesn't give us joy anymore.  My iPhone example is a small, yet life changing example.  I am amazed at how much it ruled my life...something so small...something so insignificant...something that if you asked me a month ago I would have said was a necessary tool in my life.  And now I realize...not so much is it serving me, in fact it was hurting me, causing anxiety, guilt, and frustration.

What about you? What are the things, jobs, people, hobbies that you loved at one time and now might be causing your more frustration then joy?

Facing our Demons

Thanks to Ark for the photo.

Lately I have been thinking about getting out of our own way, facing the fear monger and dealing with the 'demons', self doubts, fears and insecurities that keep us stuck. Hands down the first thing clients say to me when we meet for the first time is "I want to figure out where to go next, I have no idea what to do with my career".  So we figure it out, through assessments and worksheets and talking we figure it out.  And inevitably we get to the point where they figure it out the 'aha' moment comes, and they decided this is it.  You might thinks we are done..but that is when the real work starts.  Because that is when the fear monger, jumps in and starts hammering with all the doubts, insecurities, and fears he/she could possibly dream up.

Recently Ted Williams, made it back in the news.  For those that don't know the story...he is a homeless man from Columbus, Ohio (my hometown) who was discovered on a street corner by a reporter because of his amazing radio voice.  Check out the video clip below.  He immediately became an overnight sensation appearing on the Today Show, Dr. Phil, David Letterman etc.  And then a few weeks later it came out that Ted has an addiction to drugs and alcohol and soon those demons became to much for him and he fell back into obscurity.

So here is this guy...has an amazing talent, knows he has an amazing talent, has others telling him what an amazing talent he has and offering him jobs yet his heart isn't singing with this amazing career...the demons were too much.  You might be thinking, well this is an EXTREME example.  And yes, it could be...but I would argue that Ted's demons just happened to be a disease called addiction that is easily identifiable as a problem.  For many of us our demons and fears are more hidden, they come up through procrastination, half-heartedy approaching something, and other forms of self sabotage not as prominent as addiction.

When Ted was first discovered last January people were saying that they were jealous wishing they had this chance, that someone would discover them and that they knew what made their heart sing.  Ted's story is a great one because it illustrates that we all have fears and self doubts.  This process is not easy...even if your dream job is handed to you...you still have to get out of your own way to make it a reality.

Fortunately for Ted, he has found a new support system, has completed rehab, found trusted partners and is starting over one small step at a time.  I hope he succeeds. I hope he lives a life that makes his heart sing.  I hope that for everyone...but in order to make our heart's sing we need a support system and a plan.  Fortunately that is something I get to do every day...help people figure out what makes their heart sing and then figure out the plan to make that a reality.

My Favorite Definition of Peace

This sign sits in my office.  It is one of my favorite sayings and is the guiding principle of my work.  "Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work, it means to be in a the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."--Anonymous.

This is also my definition of living happier.   Living Happier means that even when life gets rocky and hard you can still keep your footing, stay grounded and remain at peace...content.  Living Happier does not mean always feeling happy, never dealing with problems, never experiencing pain or sorrow, never moving through hard work.  When I work with clients I help them to become more at peace, to recognize no matter what the changes, transition or decisions that need to be made they can remain grounded, solid and calm in their hearts.  It is common place when we hit snags in the road to throw up our own roadblocks, through drama, arguments, and avoidance.  When we can experience these snags through a place of peace life is better.

Last week I wrote a blog about a question that would change your life and I asked you to visualize how you want your life to look and start making steps to get there.  Someone asked me--what if my vision doesn't match my families?  And then gave the example what if I want to be near the beach and my family is perfectly happy in Minnesota how can I make that happen? It was a great question.   And of course I have an answer--that is not an easy one.

First off I would encourage you to look at ALL the options.  You could move your family to Fl, take your kids out of school and change your residence permanently, or live summers in Fl, or just you could move to FL and you could visit your family, or you could leave your family all together and live at the beach (probably not the best option but I said to look at all of them!).

Then I would ask what is most important?  Where you live or keeping your family happy?  I mean in all honesty families can be moved--that may not make them the happiest but it can be done.  But to be clear that you aren't moving to the beach because you value what's best for your family and not because your family won't 'let you' is helpful.

I would then ask, why the beach?  Do you like the warmth, the water, the sun or the lifestyle?  Is it the people or the sense of always being on vacation? What about the beach is particularly attracting?  Then I would ask is it possible to get those things in Minnesota or in your life now.  Maybe it means saving money so you can take all your vacations at the beach or by a beach house?  Heading to visit one of the lakes/streams and rivers in Minnesota more often or implementing a more laid back lifestyle into your life.

Finally I would start making a plan for moving to the beach--maybe it is once the kids are grown or before they enter middle school or when you retire.  But start saving for the beach house, cutting out pictures of the beach house, making the beach house a reality in your mind's eye.

It is possible to have the life you dream of...not always in the time frame you want it or in the exact way you desire it.  BUT I believe we need to take an active role in designing that dream, and living that life by setting our priorities, taking small steps and living the dream.  Using the above quote as your guide and remembering peace is being in the midst of the trials and tribulations and feeling calm in your heart.  Being in the midst of not being able to live your dreams RIGHT NOW and still finding a way to live happier in your heart, that is the goal.

Stepping Out of My Box: Follow-Up

Well I am back from a wonderful, restful vacation.  As I talked about a couple of weeks ago this vacation was a little out of the box for me.  My nearest and dearest and I traveled to Washington to see Dave Matthews Band play a 3 day concert.  It was my first experience camping or at a music festival.  I am happy to report I had a great time!!  I really enjoyed hearing all the music, loved the camping and met some great people in the process.  Overall I was glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to experience something completely new to me--I believe our lives become richer and more techni-color when we are able to move out of our every day into new worlds.  However, it is not all peaches and cream to expand out of our box.  I learned a few things during my out of the box experiment and wanted to share them here.

Flexibility:  One thing I really struggle with is flexibility, 'going with the flow', bending with the wind so to speak. I like my plans, my calendar, my schedules.  I like to know what is happening next, and what comprises both the big picture and little picture.  But this trip was about moving with the crowd not figuring out my plan or agenda.  I continually reminded myself that if I was going to really experience the music festival I needed to let go of the reigns a bit and be flexible.  Now in true confession, I did earn the nickname "Mama Bear" so I wasn't totally successful in letting go of my care taking tendencies--but I was able to loosen up enough to experience the world differently. 

It's not permanent:  I am not going to be a music festival groupie, traveling around camping, not taking showers, and eating PB&J for most of my meals.  I am a girl who likes comfy beds, good meals, regular showers.  The whole point of stepping out of the box is just that--to break free from your ordinary regular patterns.  However, I also had to regularly give myself a break that sometimes stretching out of our comfort zones is really uncomfortable and hard.  So it is ok that I didn't make it all 3 days without a shower, that I was the first to bed each night, or that I knew which vendor had my favorite food.  In the process of stepping out of your box you still need to take care of yourself.

Self talk is key:  I think self talk is the key to almost everything.  When we pay attention to the words we say to ourselves we can really learn a lot about our motivations and our challenges.  Quite honestly if my nearest and dearest wasn't a huge Dave Matthew fan and didn't love camping and going to musical festivals I would not have gone to this event.  A huge reason why I went was for him AND because I wanted to see what it was like, I wanted to stretch myself.  But the times when it was hard and I was just done I would think "man he is really going to owe me for this one" and then I would catch myself and realize "this was my choice to come along, my choice to get out of my box, my choice to see his world and spend time with him" so just because I was challenged doesn't mean he deserved to be punished.  Pay attention to how much your struggling is being 'put on' to other people.  And give yourself and them a break. 

I admit my example of stepping out of the box was limited and pithy.  Many of you are struggling with major life changes, job transitions, grad school applications, even relationship changes.  But the principles above still apply.  Flexibility, the temporary nature of change, and your self talk all play a role in how easily you are able to manage stepping out of your box.

What are your tips for handling new experiences?

The One Key to Living and Working Happier

Recently someone asked me, What is the one key to living and working happier?  To be honest I was stumped, there are so many keys to being happier--if there were just one we would all be doing it :) Curiosity, awareness, facing fears, less self judgement are all a big part of living and working happier.  But after a few days of thinking on this topic I came up with the one that encompasses all of them: vulnerability.  

The one thing that allows us to live and work happier is vulnerability.  Vulnerability to ourselves and the world around us.  Being open to ideas and thoughts and not pushing them down with self judgement and blame, being open to the fears and doubts that creep in, being open to the questions and insecurities that come up and begin open to the joy and passion that we experience in life.  By being vulnerable to life, we are open to it, open to the new experiences, the fears, the pain, the joy the passion. Just open.  If we aren't open to life, we can't live and work happier.

My first session spent with clients is usually brainstorming all the ideas they might deem as 'crazy' that they have about their career.  I love this session--it usually starts out rough, people aren't use to just brainstorming about their lives, dreaming, playing around...it requires a certain level of vulnerability.  But by the end of the hour session people are usually beaming with excitement.  Nothing has been decided, nothing has been committed to they haven't gotten a new job or a new life, but they have opened the door to possibility...vulnerability, step one.

I admit part of the reason I picked vulnerability as the one key is that it is so freakin' hard to be vulnerable.  It is a life long struggle to stay open to the world around you. To understand the fine balance of when to self-protect and when you are protecting too much (and therefore missing out).  I practice vulnerability every day in my relationships and in my work.  I am consistently striving to live from a place of being open  and present to live--because I know when I put myself out there and challenge my fears and my passion, life is better, life is more rich and more full (and admittedly more scary).

So this week pay attention to how vulnerable you are to life--where could you let go of the reigns a bit and let life just happen?

A Question to Change your Life

Photo Credit: Milos Milosevic 

Last week we were watching the movie, Something Borrowed and in the movie over a couple of beers one of the main characters ask the guy she is with "Tomorrow you wake up and your life can be any way you want it to be, what would it look like, what would you be doing?" I immediately turned to my nearest and dearest and said "Wow, what a great question" to which he responded "Yep, I'm going to be up all night with that one".

It is such a great question:  How would you want your life to be if you could wake up tomorrow and have it be different?  It is one of those great gut level questions, ask it and then think of the first thing that pops into your head.  Then go a little deeper.

 

Would you want:
to live someplace new?
to own your home/or own multiple homes?
live in the mountains?
live at the beach?
live closer to or further from family?

a different job?
a major career change?
to go back to school?
to own your own business?

have more/less kids?
be in a significant relationship?
be out of a significant relationship?
change the quality of your relationship?
spend more quality time in your relationship?

Do something different in your spare time?
Play more?
Exercise more?
Dance more?
Travel more?--Where?

Take some time over the next few days and be curious about how you want your life to be different.  And then be curious about why, and then be curious about how you can start implementing small changes in to your life now that will help you match your dream life so you can start working on living happier.

A Real Life Example of Working Happier

I have become midly obsessed with NPR podcasts--I recognize I am a little late to the podcast party but if you haven't used that feature on your ipod/iphone--it is amazing!  Lots of free, interesting programs out there that give new perspective to things.  What I love about listening to the NPR programs is that it takes me out of my world, my anxieties, my to-do list and introduces me to this whole new world.  A world of every day people doing extraordinary things with their lives.

Last week I was listening to This American Life--one of my favorites.  It was on Amusement Parks. I admit I am not a big fan of amusement parks and I wasn't going to listen but I thought I would give it a try. The first part of the program is about Cole, the games manager at the park.  Cole is a guy in his 20s who absolutely LOVES his job, I mean LOVES it he has worked at the amusement park since he was 14 and even dropped out of college (with one year to go) to accept this full time job.  You can hear in his voice the joy and passion he has for his job.

I actually listened to this podcast twice (because I wanted my nearest and dearest to listen to it as well because he is as passionate about swimming) and both times I was struck with how excited Cole was to do his job.  I kept thinking to myself this is Working Happier.  This is what it is all about, finding something you love and are passionate about and embracing it.  The beauty of the story is that Cole isn't fighting world hunger, or making massive change in the world.  He is living his life with passion and joy and because of that he is creating change in the teenagers who work for him, the people who enter the park and see his passion and excitement, and the people like me who heard his story and were inspired by it.

So often these stories of living the dream and finding your passion are by people who are making lots of money or living the 'easy life' after working hard for a period of years and now can take it easy.  But the reason I loved Cole's story is that he works 60-70 hours a week, he gets a lot of crap from his family (and girlfriend) about not completing college, he struggles with 'just being a games manager' and not being 'successful enough'. Bottom line it isn't all peaches and cream, it isn't perfect.  He has issues too.  But what he does have is that unmistakable joy when you hear him describe his job, he has found a little slice of heaven in his day to day life....and that in my opinion is priceless.

Check out Cole's Story here:

Stepping Out of My Box

Today begins my vacation (don't worry I will keep to my 3 blogs a week commitment--even on vacation)--I love all types of vacation, but this is a traveling vacation, a different adventure each day vacation, stay in a different spot, experience new ideas and basically just get out of my comfort zone.  It is the first time my nearest and dearest and I have done this type of vacation, usually we do the go and sit on the beach type of vacation (which I love as well) so it should be interesting.  This travel vacation also includes camping--we are headed to the The Gorge in Washington for the DMB Caravan tour---both experiences are new to me camping and music festivals.  I have to admit I have a lot of anxiety around this vacation. Traveling with my new husband, camping for the first time in 20 years and basically roughing it for 3 days.

Many of my friends have said, "are you crazy?" "why are you voluntarily headed to camp for 3 days in a field full of strangers?" "Camping isn't your thing" And they are right,   I mean I am a 4 star, 500 thread count, plump pillows, concierge type of girl.  But that is not all I am, I am also a outdoor loving, country raised, mild adventure seeker girl.  Now admittedly the outdoor loving part of me is not as prominent or well developed. I can remember saying to friends that I wanted a guy who enjoyed outdoor activities because then I would have someone to engage in those activities with.  And then I found my nearest and dearest who does enjoy camping, kayaking, surfing, hiking and just getting dirty.

So over the past few weeks I have been struggling with picking an identity--am I camper girl or 4 star hotel girl and then I realized why do I have to pick?  Part of the fun and richness from life comes from getting out of our boxes and labels and experiencing different sides of ourselves.  It is when we get stuck in our labels either by ourselves or by those around us that we get in trouble.  When we have the mentality that "I can't do that because that doesn't fit me" we aren't living life to it's full potential.  So I am headed on my vacation--my 4 star hotel, bed and breakfast, camping in a field with limited showers, fancy dining, eating cereal for dinner vacation!! And I am going to embrace every wonderful, nuanced aspect of it!!

So this week surprise yourself, surprise those close to you and take a risk, try something new and different, get out of your box.  I'll let you know how my box escape goes when I get back....