It's in the Journey not the Destination.

One of the biggest struggles, I believe my clients have the fear of making the 'wrong choice'.  There is so much build up to making a career change they get stuck in the fear and the 'what if'ing' . It is common for all of us to forget that life is a journey, and therefore so is our career path.

Even when we find the right relationship, we settle down and get married.   We still know there will be bumps, days we are struggling or arguing and maybe even questioning why did I pick this person?   Then there are days of happiness, joy, excitement when you know for sure deep down yep this is the person for me.  Same is true for careers.  Even when you have a career you LOVE  there might be days that are fantastic wonderful glorious and their might be days that are miserable, challenging, and full of questions.

It is messy.  I said this week to a friend of mine, "Everyone I know who is now happy in a career isn't afraid to embrace the mess."  Because we get stuck in the fear and the beliefs around what if I make the wrong choice or what if I mess up my career by picking wrong, we do nothing. We stay stuck and miserable in a career that is just enough. But the people I know who have a career that makes their heart sing, have taken some crazy paths.

Person 1:
received her RN,
worked at the hospital (hated it),
worked as a home health care worker,
stayed at home to raise her children
became a school nurse for 30+ years
simultaneously went back to school to get her masters in health education,
Currently in her retirement does a lot of work with health education and keeping the school kids aware and educated.

Person 2:
degree in journalism,
worked at a newspaper for years,
insurance salesman,
car salesman,
landscape architect (owned his own business)
Recently got his vet tech degree and works for a local vet and loves it!

Person 3:
degree in education
worked at a pool all through school--loved it
taught for  few years (didn't like it)
nursing school (struggled with classes)
taught again
massage therapy school
various jobs while 'figuring it out'
Swim teacher/aquatics director--loves it!

Now do they love every aspect of their jobs--no--would they describe themselves as working happier--yes.

Yes, we all know PLENTY of people who have picked one job and been happy with it their entire lives.  But even those folks, have made tweaks, added educational experience, moved departments , etc.  They have engaged in the activities that make their heart sing--just maybe not as messily as the rest of us.

This is a process, a messy on-going, spiraling up process.  It is not a destination.   It doesn't matter how many steps it takes you to get there.  As Jen Curran so lovely described even though her journey hasn't taken her where she thought it would in the time she envisioned she is still following her bliss:  "I'm now working happier by learning not to define myself and my success by my paycheck job and not to put so much pressure on my dream job to materialize into the perfect career right away.  It will all come in good time."

We get stuck on finding the dream--so stuck we don't want to make any moves at all that aren't 'right'.

 If you hear anything from this blog post hear this:  You will never know if you have made the right move until you make it  All life is risk, getting married, traveling, finding a job.

Anytime we are making a decision we are going to leave something behind--but when we get stuck in the this decision has to be right trap, we become paralyzed.  So with quality guidance and solid processes we can figure out what comes next, how to start on the journey of working happier and living happier one solid decision at a time.

Ironically after I wrote this blog post a client of mine sent me this interesting article by Cal Newport that has a different spin on the same content.   The Danger of the Dream Job Illusion.   He writes about the danger of getting stuck in looking for the perfect dream job.

 I believe as humans we are happier when we dream.   There is no danger in dreaming--the trick is combining our dreams with our practical every day needs of life.

Work Happier Live Happier Spotlight: Jen Curran

Welcome to the Work Happier Live Happier Spotlight.  Today I am thrilled to be interviewing Jen Curran.  I have referred to Jen and her wisdom a few times on this blog.

I wanted to interview Jen not just because she is a wonderful writer, but because she is currently on the journey that I encourage everyone

One of the many, many things Jen does is write:  Follow My Bliss which is an exploration of her life before and after quitting her 'just good enough' desk job and go on the quest to follow her bliss.  Jen eloquently expresses that working happier is a process, not an end destination.

Her brief bio written in her own words:  I'm Jen Curran.  I'm 29. I'm a writer, a comedian and an actor.  I live in Brooklyn with my sweet boyfriend and our two cats.  Last year I quit my job to follow my bliss.  

I write a lot about working happier, many of us are on a quest to work happier. What has your work happier journey been so far?

My work happier journey has been a winding one. In college, I went to acting school, dropped out, eventually went back, and finally graduated without a clear understanding of what I really wanted to do for a living. I knew I loved performing, but I didn't think I could actually make money as an actor. In the meantime, I held office jobs, temp jobs, babysitting jobs and more office jobs, all while performing comedy shows with my friends on the nights and weekends. I didn't exactly have a "direction," so to speak, but I was in my mid-twenties and I wasn't worried. I had all the time in the world!

But sometime during the year that I was 28-years-old, I started to become aware that turning 30 was just around the corner and I felt a little panicked. Suddenly, I became terrified by the threat of working directionless office jobs while kinda sorta maybe trying to be a comedian and an actor for the rest of my life. I knew I needed to make some commitments and decisions about my future. So I devised a plan, saved some money and eventually quit my office job to pursue acting, writing and to open a small business with a friend.

Quitting that job was a very freeing and educational experience for me. I ended up spending a full year not really working for anyone but myself. I concentrated mostly on my baking business and my creative pursuits. It was exciting. It was also exhausting. And I was shocked to discover that sometimes I even felt bored. The "freedom" I'd dreamed about having before I quit my job wasn't as relaxing and inspiring as I thought it would be - in fact it wasn't freedom at all. I'd imagined I'd take yoga classes five times a week, go for jogs in the park near my apartment, cook impressive meals and keep the house clean. Instead I sometimes felt stifled, unmotivated, overworked and unsure of how to move forward. I didn't have a clear direction or tangible goals set for myself, so I floundered.

Despite those struggles, I did make some incredible professional strides during that time. I learned to take risks, I made some great connections and I landed some fun freelance opportunities as a writer. My performance skills improved a lot and I even started teaching acting to other comedians. And my comedy group had some exciting success that validated our years of hard work together. I also discovered - before it was too late, thank God - that I didn't want to own and operate my own bakery.

At the end of that year, I was felt a little dazed and confused about what I'd just been through. I knew I still wanted to pursue my acting and writing career, but I didn't have specific goals in mind yet. It was then that I realized I needed another paycheck job to fill in the gaps. So I went back to an office job.

A year older, many, many experiences wiser, and with a much more solid understanding of what I want to be when I grow up, I'm now working happier by learning not to define myself and my success by my paycheck job and not to put so much pressure on my dream job to materialize into the perfect career right away. It will all come in good time.

I absolutely love this quote from Howard Thurman: Don't ask what the world needs, Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it! Because what the worlds needs is people who come alive. What are the activities you engage in when feel most alive?

Writing. Specifically when I get to do so without parameters. Acting. Working and traveling with my sketch comedy group. Performing improv comedy. Yoga and running (though I haven't done either in a while!). Playing with animals. Eating something that makes my taste buds freak out. Decorating for the holidays. Swimming. Driving....I could go on, but I won't.

Another thing I've learned in the last few years of trying to work happier is how essential it is to find joy in the mundane moments of life: when your train comes on time, when there's a perfect breeze, when you finally get that piece of mail you've been waiting for, when the dog jumps in your lap or the cat comes by for a snuggle. These are silly moments, but life happens in silly, wonderful, fleeting, odd moments. Your job won't make you happy. Choosing to create happiness no matter what your circumstance will.

You took the ultimate risk and quit you safe day job because as you say it wasn't quite good enough". I know there are many people who can relate to that feeling but don't quite have the hutzpah

What gave me the final push was looking around me and seeing so many people who were following their own bliss and chasing their own dreams without a net to catch them. I felt like I was always reading articles and blog posts about people who didn't like where they were so they made the brave choice to change it. I knew if they could do it, I could do it too. It's about trusting your abilities and your instincts.

Having a safe job can be a wonderful thing because it can afford you the financial means to pursue other passions. But if your safe job keeps you from setting and realizing your own personal and professional goals, it's not a safe job - it's a dangerous job. Don't get stuck in a rut. The routine of waking up, going to work at a job that doesn't excite or inspire you, coming home, watching TV and going to bed might be enough for some people, but there's nothing wrong with wanting more out of life. So go find more! Sometimes it takes just shaking things up for a little while to realize exactly what you're looking for. If you feel stuck, seek out change - big or small. For instance, even if you can't quit your safe job because you need the paycheck, maybe look for another safe job that has some of the qualities your current job lacks. Any change is positive. And you're the only person controlling your destiny.

Many people believe once they find the work that makes their heart sing the journey is over. What I love about your blog is that it realistically details the joys and challenges of that process. What have you found to be your biggest joys and challenges?

Since I'm now back at a paycheck job, it goes without saying that one of my biggest challenges in finding and exploring work I'm passionate about was earning enough money to live without worry.

When I left my job, the things I planned to pursue during my time off were all over the map. I lived off savings and the occasional earnings from my various enterprises, but I realized in time that my goals still needed some additional funding. Hence the choice to go back to a desk job after a year doing my own thing. Making that decision was a challenge, but being broke was a bigger challenge. I plan to use the structure and routine of my new job to help me to set some new goals career goals and work toward them every day, while enjoying some financial security in the meantime.

All that said, the biggest joy of following my bliss has been learning to listen to my instincts and to trust myself unconditionally. I left my last job because I just wasn't happy there. There was no need to beat myself up about that fact, or to wish I could be someone I'm not. And when I discovered that owning and operating my own bakery wasn't exactly up my alley either, I didn't continue on with it just because I'd started it. I chose to listen to my instincts and focus on other aspects of my career. Living my life that way - by trusting that I will make the choice that is best for me - is incredibly freeing. I don't feel guilty about my decisions and I don't worry about other people's judgment of my choices anymore. And I didn't feel that way before embarking on this journey.

You can continue to here about Jen's journey on her blog:  Follow my Bliss

Changing the World One Act of Love at a Time

Earlier this month I came across a quote from Mother Theresa that really struck me.  In reality, almost everything in this woman's life is striking.  "Spread love wherever you go, let no one come to you without leaving happier".---Mother Theresa

One thing that was so amazing about Mother Theresa was her humility, her humanness.  She wasn't looking to change the world by making broad sweeping policies, major shifts in thinking through blog posts or twitter messages.  She was looking to change the world one person at a time.  Shifting the world by being a gentle soul, and validating every human's right to be on this planet and receive love, kindness, warmth, food and housing.

Sometimes when we are on the journey to Work and Live Happier we are so busy looking at the big picture we forget the little things.  We forget the joy that comes from smiling at your neighbor, holding the door for a stranger, or listening to your friend vent about their annoying day. As you know,  I believe one of the most important things we can do on this earth is do something that makes our heart sing.  Occassionally in the quest to find something BIG to do with our lives we miss the simplicity of it all.  One of the main ways we can live happier, is to share ourselves and our gifts in small ways with other people. While big fabulous dreams are awesome and necessary in life.  It is also important to remember that we can change the world, one person at a time by being kind, present and genuine with the people we interact with on a daily basis

Frequently my nearest and dearest will teach me this lesson that it is in the small things.  Even if he comes home tired, and frustrated from his day he will always sit down and ask me about my day--listening intently, celebrating my victories or supporting my disappointments.  That time, (and in reality it is usually no more than 10 minutes) is such a gift to me, to be heard, witnessed, celebrated and supported.  And I know I am not the only one who he 'shows up for' it is his gift to just be present and he shares it one loving act at a time.

Don't discount the little things. Don't discount how your presence, your gifts can change the world one person at a time. Just think how amazing the world would be if we all set the intention of just being kind and loving to whomever we met on a day to day basis.  We would all Live Happier!!

***********
Thanks to Dave Parker for the image of joy and love above.

Why Strive to Work and Live Happier?

Lately I have been thinking why is it I do what I do? Why should all of you, lovely readers, be looking for a career that makes your heart sing and a life that makes your filled with joy? So here it is: my manifesto (if I can be so bold) on why we all should be striving to Work Happier and Live Happier


Life is too short. Yes, sometimes the days seem long and we are all tired, exhausted and depleted. But in reality-life is short, we are honestly here one minute and gone the next. The other day I was driving by a cemetery and started thinking about all the tombstones, representing all the stories, dreams, hopes, and desires of the individuals buried there. On those grounds, lie brothers, sisters, mothers, daughters and sons who have blessed this earth with their presence and left wives, children, grand-children and great-grand-children. They too were burdened by the stresses of daily life and just trying to put one foot in front of the other. But I am sure they would agree, life comes and go so fast. Do you want to be stuck in a job that depletes you and live your life numbing out to TV, video games and Facebook? OR do you want to be living a life that engages your gifts, showcases your values and generally feeds your soul?

It's why we are here. I believe we are all here to express our unique selves. In my belief, that it is both our obligation and our birth-right to celebrate and learn as much about ourselves as possible and share that with the world. Whether you gift is to run a multi-million dollar corporation or make really good apple pie! It doesn't matter what your unique talent is, the point is if you aren't engaged in life-those around you don't get to experience your fabulous gifts. If you are stuck in job you hate and spending your time doing activities you despise, you aren't sharing your greatness with the world. I believe when we start interacting with the world by searching for the activities that feed our soul and celebrating them, the world gives back to us through energy, love and even finances--yes I said it finances. Maybe not a TON of finances, maybe we have to get creative, but we can make a living doing the what we love. We each have a unique purpose. The journey of life is about finding it and discovering the best possible way to share that with the world.

We all have choices. Sometimes we need to get creative. I admit one of the hardest parts about my job is when a client comes in and says I know what I want to do but based on my life choices I can't do it. I want to be own a restaurant but I also have 3 kids under the age of 15 that I want to spend time with and earn enough money to send them to college. Inevitably, I spend a session or two explaining the beauty of creativity and choices. A. we need to figure out what are your long term dreams B. what are your short term needs C. How can we combine the two to make life in the present more bearable while also helping you achieve the long term dream. So many of us are too afraid to ask the question, What is my purpose? Because we are too afraid that we won't be able to achieve the dream. But in my view, the point of life is to ask the tough questions, get creative on the answers and end up living a life that is more full and complete. We can chose to live a life that expresses our values, interests, passions and joys or we can chose to remain small allowing dead end jobs, activities or relationships suck the energy from our live so we are merely surviving our lives rather than live it.

It's all about Spiraling Up. If we aren't moving forward we are stagnant and stale. I know so many people who have refused to ask the tough questions, refused to make any changes, refused to take any risks. And their lives have remained empty, full of sadness, blame and manipulation. The journey, isn't an easy one but better to be on the journey then stuck in a pool of depletion, defeat and fear. I don't care if you life dream is to own a bed and breakfast, be on Oprah or make the best tasting lasagna, the bottom line is if we aren't chasing our dreams we aren't living.

Bottom line--Life is Messy. It is a rich, layered, multi-faceted and dynamic. It is full of joy, fear, doubts, happiness, laughter, tears, insecurity and sheer bliss. When we get off the couch and out of our ruts we can start figuring out the career, activities and people that feed our soul. Then we can get creative on how to add more of these dynamic energies into our lives. I am not guaranteeing a life of sheer bliss if you start striving to work and live happier. I AM guaranteeing a life that is more vibrant, colorful, cherished, witnessed and expressed.

The question isn't: Why would you strive to Work and Live Happier? The question is: Why Wouldn't you?

****************
Thanks to Pink Sherbet Photography for the wonderful vibrant photo!

Letting Go of the Need to Justify

Every now and then someone will say something that just stops you in your tracks.  Many years ago, a mentor of mine said to me, "You don't need to justify, prove or defend the decisions in your life".  She went on to say, your decisions are your decisions people don't have to approve of them to make them better or worse. At the time, it was a revolutionary statement for me.  I was practically paralyzed in my life because every decision I made had to be rational and logical.  Even now from time to time I have to remind myself that I don't need to justify, prove or defend why I choose to do something. Fortunately I have people in my world, like my nearest and dearest, who can lovingly remind me when this old habit comes into play and I try to always make the "right" decision--when in reality it doesn't matter.

As I work with clients on working and living happier-inevitably this topic comes up.  We get in the habit of explaining our lives, explaining our emotions, justifying our decisions and making them 'ok' to the outside world.  When we live our lives in justification mode, it is challenging to make decisions that go against the grain of what others might think is best for us.

A few years ago I had a client who really wanted to leave her job--the same one she had been working at for the past 20 years--and her family (brothers and sisters) kept telling her she was crazy.  Her spouse was supportive and gave her a lot of room to explore and even offered to support her if she needed to go back to school.  But she was stuck, she kept going back to her family and trying to justify her decision.  Finally one day, I wrote on a piece of paper, in big lettering, "IT IS YOUR LIFE YOU DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY, PROVE OR DEFEND YOUR DECISIONS".  She looked at me amazed and wave of relief washed over her. I suggested that each time she felt tempted to go into explanation mode to someone she could read this sign.

Her homework was to really pay attention to how much time on a day to day basis she spent in justification mode.  At her next appointment she immediately started talking about how much time she spent explaining her decisions.  She started by just reviewing at the end of the day, all the times she could remember that she justified a decisions.  Gradually as she became more aware of the habit, she started noticing it in the moment.  She made a mark on a piece of paper every time she was explaining her thought process.  She was amazed at how frequently she felt compelled to justify her life.  Almost every decision from what time to put the kids to bed, to what to have for dinner required some sort of logical basis, some sort of defense that really wasn't necessary.

She realized that by being in justification mode all the time, she was in essence 'on guard' for all of her thoughts.  She was so exhausted from proving all the small choices in her life, it was next to impossible to mount a defense for the major life choices.  In her case, it was largely because growing up her family put a lot of pressure on her to be 'right' to be justified.  Regardless of the reason, when we get stuck in the habit of  justifying, proving and defending our decisions it becomes more and more difficult to make a decisions because it takes so much effort to mount a defense.   Many of the things that make us happiest in life aren't logical or rational.  If we all lived purely logical rational lives--we would be pretty boring.  Some of the most exciting things in life area done because we simply followed our gut.  The happiest people I know, live from that place of following their gut, going with the flow and not justifying, proving or defending every life decision.

This week, pay attention to how much time you spend in justification mode? Who are you defending your life too?  What is this need to defend keeping you from doing? How is it preventing you from making decisions that might help you live or work happier?  

Enjoying the In-Between

I wrote this post back in 2008---but it still applies today.  Life is a process, frequently we are in the 'in-between time'.  As an ode to the warm weather we have been having--I thought it was worth a repeat.

I love this time of year--the strange time when the heat of summer is not quite over but the chill of fall isn't here yet either. It is too hot for sweaters during the day but too cold for shorts at night.  It isn't quite summer and it isn't quite fall--it is in between--"fummer" if you will.

It got me thinking about all the times throughout our lives when we are in a fummer--not quite in one place or the other--we are simply on the road. Not quite in that perfect relationship, not quite figured out the job, not quite happy. We are in fummer--actually most of our lives we are in that in between place--we just don't realize it or embrace it.

To often we are waiting for the next season or long for the past season. We are fantasizing about the snow or depressed because the days by the pool are gone. We aren't enjoying the fummer when it is sunny and bright during the day and cool enough to have the windows open at night. We are dreaming about when our job will be perfect and missing out on the fact that we had a great meeting this morning or received a compliment from a boss today. We lament 'the one that got away' rather than seeing the funny cute woman at the coffee shop who talks to us every time we are in there.

We miss the fummer because we are too busy looking at our past or leaping into the future. Enjoy your fummer! It won't be here for long!!

Defeating The Fear Monger

A few weeks ago, I wrote about The Fear Monger. The Fear Monger, is the voice from deep inside us that has the potential to keep us complacent, stuck and safe. It prevents us from moving forward and striving towards a place of change and living happier.  The number one key to fighting The Fear Monger is recognizing its presence. Don't get me wrong it is tricky, it talks a good game but once you start paying attention you can usually recognize it's language and tone.  Most of The Fear Monger's messages are around being responsible, staying safe, thinking of other people, and being a good person. The Fear Monger tends to pick up on whatever it is you value (e.g. your family, status, security) and twist the message around until you are convinced the best thing for you to do is stay put, make no changes and take no risks.

The Fear Monger can be tricky, frequently when he/she starts talking to us and getting under our skin we express the anxiety/fear that emerges in a variety of ways:  picking a fight with our significant other, eating too much, drinking too much, feeling anxious or unfocused.  Each of us expresses it differently and at different times. As I have started paying attention to my Fear Monger I am amazed how unconsciously she will just play there in my brain perhaps saying, "you can't do this, who do you think you are" and if she plays long enough, eventually I will have this overwhelming urge to eat, or watch TV and stop whatever work I am doing.  If I am not vigilant and aware of her messages,  before I know it I will have shut down my computer and I will be eating a bag of Reese cups in front of the TV.

So what can you do?  How can you defeat such an elemental part of yourself?

Step One: Start recognizing your Fear Monger.  Give her/him a name a face--it can be extremely creative or something as simple as Scared Nancy (bet you couldn't guess, that's mine ). Pay attention to the message she/he tends to send and when he/she tends to come out the most.  Build awareness around how you react to the fear monger, do you eat, watch TV, become agitated, pick a fight or just give up.

Step Two:  Once you recognize the Fear Monger has been playing your head acknowledge it, actually bless it.   Frequently I will say, "thank you 'scared Nancy' I appreciate your fear but I got this one.  I can handle this and I want to move forward".  I know that sounds crazy--but trust me it works.  It is as if acknowledging this very real part of us allows her to relax--she feels heard and she can then settle down. The message she is sending is a negative one, her mission is to protect us from growing too much, getting too much out of our comfort zone.

Now I admit depending on how much change you are making you might need to acknowledge her over and over again.  This is a process, at first you might not recognize your Fear Monger has been talking until you are in the midst of an argument with your spouse.  The more you practice, the quicker you will catch The Fear Monger in the moment.  Eventually you will catch him/her as they are chatting away their negative propaganda and you will be able to bless them and move on in the moment.

Step Three: Know your big picture and take small steps  The Fear Monger is there to help us from getting hurt. He/she is a real part of us, just a scared fearful part.  So in order to keep her fear messages to a minimum, you need to have a two fold process, first know your big picture.  Know what you are going after: more time with your family, more fulfillment, more happiness, more vacation time, etc.  Once you know what your larger goal is you can then begin to break it down into small steps.  Maybe you are wanting to explore going back to school. It doesn't mean you have to quit your job and go back to school next quarter.  You can start with small steps:  researching schools, gathering application materials, making a plan for finances, and taking entrance exams if necessary.  I know from experience, when we know why we are pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone (big picture) and then able to take action steps (small steps), blessing our Fear Monger along the way we will be able to live happier lives.

A Reality Check on Your Regrets

I am recovering from a cold.  Nothing makes living happier more challenging then being sick.  I spent much of yesterday alternating between the couch and my bed, taking advil and using my neti pot (of which I am a HUGE fan and even more so with how quickly I recovered from this cold). I also spent much of yesterday hammering myself about getting sick, being lazy and not working.  Regardless of the the fact, I couldn't breathe, had a fever and just felt generally miserable I still decided to beat myself up about taking a sick day.

This morning as I walked the dog, I was thinking about my definition of success for myself, and how so often I and many of my clients tend to externalize that definition.  In reality I am someone who values, self care, who believes that when our bodies get to the point of sickness or exhaustion it is usually because we have pushed them there.  Sickness for me is usually a sign that I haven't been listening to myself, and need to stop and regroup.  Which is what I did.  I slept a lot, ate homemade chili and just relaxed.  And I know because I took time out and let my body collapse yesterday,  today I feel 1000 times better--still tired and snuffly but I was able to work and function well.  Yet, I spent the majority of the day saying I SHOULD be up and working, I SHOULD be seeing clients, writing my blog, marketing blah, blah blah.  All of that *crap* is someone else's voice.  That is the do or die career woman in me the work alcoholic totally out of balance why I got sick in the first place part of me.

So back to walking the dog (I don't know what I did before I had a dog because I have so many great epiphanies when I am walking the dog) I asked myself when I look back on my life what would I regret?  And I came up with a variety of answers--they included not spending enough time with my family, not contributing my gifts, not valuing my friends and hanging with them, not living life to it's fullest which includes everything from enjoying my daily dog walks to traveling to New Zealand.  The list did not include anything about the amount of money I would make or the number of clients I saw, or even becoming the next Dr Phil.  The list included simple, every day life goals that I want to achieve.  None of those goals involve, beating myself up.  The truth is, the more I achieve my every day little goals, the more likely I am to achieve the bigger things.  The point is am a happier person in my work life and personal life when I allow myself the freedom to take a sick day, to enjoy rolling over and petting my cat first thing in the morning, to plan trips to visit family in California over the holidays AND to contribute my gifts as much as possible. We all are happier when we allow ourselves to be who we truly are, when we can let go of the external 'you aren't enough because _______' voice and really embrace who we are sickness, foibles, mistakes and imperfections.

My question to you is if you looked back on your life--what would you regret?  I venture to guess, the things you would regret are NOT the things you are beating yourself up about.

******
In honor of the wisdom that comes from walking my dog I had to include a photo of her on one of our walks.  Here's to Mocha for getting me out of the house and out of my funky moods!!