Keep Your Eyes on the Road

Thanks to TobyOtter for the great pic!

A few months ago my nearest and dearest and I were driving to North Carolina.  Part of that journey includes driving on the West Virginia turnpike a hilly, curvy freeway that is full of semi's all trying to make good time.  It can be an exhilarating, scary and sometimes fun part of the drive.  We had planned to stay overnight in WV and then continue on the following morning.  As we approached the hotel, it was dark, the road was hilly, curvy and covered with light fog.  We couldn't see very well in front of us but I kept driving on, making good time, getting us to our destination.  The next morning when we started out again, it was day light, no fog and we could see for miles.  Surprisingly, I noticed I was much more timid in my driving, now I could see far ahead of me and see the cliffs I was driving close to and the upcoming hills and twists and turns that were approaching.

My nearest and dearest (ever the observant one) noticed right away that I was more timid and asked what was wrong..naturally we both assumed since visibility was so much greater I should be feeling more secure in my driving.  But honestly since I could see what was coming I not only had to deal with the curves I knew about but I was stressing about the curves 'yet to come'

It struck me that the more I paid attention to what was coming up the more afraid I became.   I think that happens frequently in our lives that sometimes we get so caught up in looking ahead at 'what might happen' we get too scared to make decisions based on what's actually happening.  We become frozen in the what if's or the terrible things that appear to be approaching.  When I was able to relax and remembered that I had been fine on this road, 12 hours earlier, in the dark and fog I started to only pay attention to the current road.  I knew there were curves ahead but I quit dwelling on them.

So frequently when clients come into my office feeling paralyzed and timid they have been looking too far down the road.  The best way I have found to help clients is to help them implement a plan, a step by step action plan that they can come back to when they get overwhelmed.  They may start looking too far down the road but when you know the plan, you know today I need to do a.  and then you can start on a. rather then getting overwhelmed by h, m, and x. When my clients start putting one foot in front of the other, making decisions and moving forward they start living and working happier.

Here's to keeping your eyes on the road.

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Want to get your plan to work happier? Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session where we can talk on the phone get to know each other better!!    Not in Columbus--no worries I also work via phone and Skype!!

Safely Sharing Our Dreams

Thanks to Brittany for the pic~!

A friend of mine and I are constantly coming up with "million dollar ideas". It is a fun game we play in coming up with different projects we can engage in or ideas we might have for our lives down the road.  Frequently we joke that the difference between a person who makes a million dollars and a person who doesn't is taking the idea and running with it--actually ACTING on the idea.  For so many of us these ideas don't even see the light of day, they never leave the recesses of our brain, they never get shared, discussed or talked about.

Earlier this week I was talking to my nearest and dearest about how common it is to shoot down ideas.  When someone comes up with a new plan for a career or project, the first reaction of those closest to them  is to say all the reason's it is a bad idea.  Sounds terrible doesn't it?  But I have found it to be true.  So frequently by the time my clients have come into see me, they have heard so many negatives and challenges associated with their dream they are too exhausted and tired to even mention the dream to me.

I have to assume and hope, that these people believe they are being helpful, offering constructive criticism or protecting the person from getting hurt.  But really in my mind they are just keeping that person down, and putting them 'back in line'.  There are very few dream validators out there.  Very few people that allow us to share what's on our hearts and minds and give us the room to explore it, look at it, check it out.  Very few people who will say, sounds cool, let's see what happens who allow us to entertain the idea of doing something new, different and maybe even a bit 'out there'.  Ironically, most of the time, our dreams aren't that crazy, or 'out there' they are just different then what we are doing now.

But honestly, many of the 'comforts' we have now TV, airplanes, cars, computers, and ipods wouldn't be here if someone somewhere hadn't thought 'what if one day we could carry 5,000 songs on a little tiny device as big as my hand?" and more importantly if someone somewhere hadn't said "that sounds cool, how might that work?"  We all need dream validators in our lives, we need to let the dreams, ideas, thoughts that come into our brains have a safe place to fall.

Who are your dream validators?  Who are the people you can share your dreams with? How open are you to listening to other people's dreams and ideas?  Are you a dream validator?

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Looking for a safe place to share your dreams?  Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session!  Not in Columbus?  No worries--I also work via phone and Skype.

Why Just Changing Your Job Won't Make You Live Happier.

Yep, you read that title correctly--just changing your job won't necessarily help you live happier.  So frequently when we are unhappy we are desperate, desperate for a change, desperate to be doing something different, desperate to have a new boss or new co-workers.  When that desperation kicks in, usually our quality decision making kicks off.  When we make decisions based on just leaving a bad job vs. having a plan for a new one we can get into trouble.

Now I am not saying that just quitting your job is always a problem, I know people (including myself) who have quit a job without another job just because we were D-O-N-E---DONE with our current jobs.  But I also know that even if we didn't have another job we had a plan, a loose plan, but a plan.  Maybe there was money saved up, school that was going to start soon or a temporary job that was opening.  The point is there was a plan.

So often clients come into my office desperate to leave their jobs wanting a way out. Their temptation is to just quit their job and take the first available opening. Part of my job is to ease that desperation and help the client get clear on what do you want next?  What areas of your life do you actually enjoy?  How can we add more of that enjoyment into your life while looking at other options?  What are some "out of the box" plan B's that can occur? So often it isn't that clients don't have a plan it is that they haven't given voice to the plan.

But bottom line it isn't just about your job.  Your job is one part of your life, that yes can make the rest of your life miserable, but really ask yourself: Are there changes I could be making to my life that would make me happier while I develop a plan to find a new job and live happier?  Finding a job that makes your heart sing is one part of a happy life. We also need to be engaging in activities that make our heart sing whether that be hanging with family, laughing with friends or playing golf on a Saturday morning.  Sometimes when we are completely miserable in our jobs we forget there are other activities that make us happy.

So rather then bailing on a job we hate and potentially ending up in more pain and misery we can develop a plan of attack.  We can start to develop a two fold plan, one which puts as many soul feeding activities in our lives as possible while figuring out how to remove ourselves from a job that makes us miserable.

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Wanting help with changing your job?  Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session where we can talk on the phone get to know each other better!!    Not in Columbus--no worries I also work via phone and Skype!!

Why The Internet is Hurting your Job Search

Earlier this week I had a new client, he came into my office completely frustrated by his job search experience.  Lost and flabbergasted he found my website, liked my stuff and scheduled an appointment.  First words out of his mouth are "I have applied to over 300 jobs and have heard nothing back".  These words are not uncommon in my office.  Inevitably my next question is "What type of jobs are you applying for?" and inevitably comes the answer "Oh, I don't know...whatever I can find that sounds appealing".

Upon further discussion it was revealed that he was spending hours a day sitting in front of his computer applying to various jobs using Monster, CraigsList and CareerBuilder and getting nowhere.  He is not alone, MOST of my clients who are looking for a new job start their search by spending hours if not days in front of the computer searching and applying for jobs, to no avail.

In some ways technology is a wonderful thing.  At our fingertips we have access to countless resources, vast amounts of information and overwhelming opportunities.  Over the past few years job searching has changed dramatically.  Gone are the days of buying the Sunday paper and circling in big red ink the jobs that sound appealing.  Now in a matter of minutes we can have access to 100s if not 1000s of jobs.  It can be overwhelming and mind blowing.  But in reality the job search process hasn't changed that much.  We still have one or two HR people who are responsible for hiring for the all open positions. While job searchers  may have greater access to the job possibilities the HR folk are still left with sorting through countless resumes on top of their already full plates of doing their jobs.

Job searching is exhausting, time consuming, ego bruising work. So for all of you job searchers out there, today I am going to ask you to pause your internet surfing (after reading this of course) and try some new (maybe just tried and true) job search ideas.

Be Specific: Know What you Want to Do.  Know the type of job you are applying for and tailor your resume to fit that job.  You may have an accounting degree and know you want to be working in that field but what SPECIFICALLY do you want to be doing?  What type of environment do you want to be working in?  The more specific you can get on where you want to be and what you want to be doing the easier it is to tailor your resume.

Resume=Skimmable:  Number one thing I tell clients when they come in for a resume review--you have 10 seconds to make an impression so it better be skimmable. That means, use bold and italics strategically, use bullet statements and make sure your resume fits the job posting.  If I am reading your resume I should know in 10 seconds if you are qualified for my job opening or not.

Apply Through the Company Site When you Can:  I admit we live in a computerized world so you need to use the computer for some of your job search.  Craigslist, Monster and CareerBuilder are great for finding jobs but when you can apply on the company website do it.  Not only will it allow you to learn more about the company but when you are networking (see number 4) and the individual asks if you applied on the company website you can say yes!

Network, Network, Network: This is tried and true advice which still holds true.  Whether you are just trying to figure out what you want to do or trying to get a specific career you HAVE to network.  You have to get away from your computer, out of your house and interact with the world!  Yes, Linked-In is a great way to meet people it is a fabulous way to connect AND THEN ask to meet people face to face in person!!

Bottom line job searching is about knowing what you want, fine tuning your resume to show your talents, applying for jobs and then strategically meeting people who can help you.

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Need help in your job search?  Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session where we can talk on the phone get to know each other better!!    Not in Columbus--no worries I also work via phone and Skype!!

Is it Luck?

I'm back!!!  I apologize for the LONG delay between posts, I took some time off from blogging to plan our wedding--which took way more time and energy then I was expecting.  But in the end was totally worth it.  So please allow me a quick gush about our wedding--which was just as we wanted, intimate, playful, and full of love and laughter.  From the sno-Kones to the s'mores to the swimming and dancing (not to mention the ceremony and vows we both wrote) it was a wonderful, non-conventional wedding!!!  To say the least I am thrilled to be married to my nearest and dearest and in the throes of newlywed gagginess.

A repeated conversation my nearest and dearest and I have is that I say "we are so lucky" and he responds with "it's not all luck, we work at this too".  It has turned into a playful banter conversation, but over the past few weeks I have been wondering about how much luck plays into happiness.  Our story is an amazing one full of twists and turns, yet somehow we made it back to each other (luck) and somehow we talked through and discussed all the twists and turns to get where we are today (work).  So much of our relationship is built on awareness, curiosity, checking in, communicating and being present all which some might say is work (but doesn't really feel like it at the time).  In short, we are very intentional about our relationship and about keeping it fresh, intimate and loving.  It is work and we are lucky. However, our lives are not perfect, we have our struggles as well, with serious illnesses, self doubt, neurotic tendencies, and just the struggles of daily life.  But we are intentional about those as well, intentional about grieving the losses, exploring the feelings of self doubt and celebrating the small victories we have in our life.

Similarly I think when we are looking at our lives from a big picture and looking at how to Live Happier and Work Happier, how to find a career that is rewarding, a relationship that is fulfilling and a life that is rich and deep it requires a sense of intentionality.  A sense of awareness and analyzation.  As I have said before this stuff is not easy.  It is not for the faint of heart to grab life by the horns and take the crazy ride but it is SO worth it.

So yes I believe some luck is involved in living happier, some of us are born into money or more loving and caring families.  Some of us get a 'leg up' when we enter the world.  But I don't necessarily believe that makes one happy.  The happiest people I know are from a variety of backgrounds, rich, poor, children of abuse, children of loving supportive families.  Their 'circumstances' don't make them happy, it is their attitude and their intentionality around life that make them happy.  It is the embracing of all that there is the good and the bad, celebrating with wild abandon and grieving with great sorrow.

But I am curious on your take...what role do you think luck plays in happiness?

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Want to get more intentional about living your life?  Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session where we can talk on the phone get to know each other better!!    Not in Columbus--no worries I also work via phone and Skype!!