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Reason 2: What if I am wrong...I can't be wrong again.
This is BY FAR the most common reason I hear when people come into my office wanting career counseling. A big part of them wants to go after their dream job (and many of them already know what it is) and a big part of them is saying, "no, I have tried and failed too many times, so I should just stay safe and keep my current job". The ironic thing is for many of these clients they haven't really tried THAT many jobs. But the sense of failure is so great, they give up hope that they can figure it out, go after their dreams, actually enjoy their job so they stay settled, safe in their current position. They convince themselves, It's ok that I hate my job because at least I am stable and steady and I refuse to be wrong again.
It is almost as if there is an internal war going on between two personalities who I have labeled: Stable Sue and Passionate Paul:
Stable Sue: You can't be wrong again. At your age you need to have a regular income and a steady job. You need to be steady, stable and practical you are an adult. There isn't time for changes and passion now, that was when you were in college. I can't help it that you picked the wrong major then.
Passionate Paul: So what if I am wrong again? The world won't stop revolving. As long as I have enough money to support myself and/or my family I am fine. So what if I switch jobs again, as long as I am passionate about my life. When I look back at my life I want to see a life filled with passion and energy. I want to see a life of joy and excitement. I want to see me striving to be a better person and figure out my unique contribution to the world, even if that means my path is varied and full of change. Isn't it more important that my life is genuine and authentic rather than sticking to some path I don't even enjoy.
And on and on it goes--does this sound familiar?? My point is, life is meant to be actively engaged in and enjoyed. We make decisions based on the information available at the time. Sometimes, we learn new information later or we change our minds. Regardless, when we actively engage in anything we make mistakes, we mess up but we learn and move forward. My job is to help you gather as much information as possible and get as clear as possible on how you want to move forward. Sometimes it means a job change, sometimes it means making little shifts in your life to add more spark and energy.
I believe, we are all on a mission to discover our unique contribution to the world. We are all here to live lives that are vibrant and genuine. We aren't meant to work jobs that slowly over time make us miserable and tired. The catch is that in order to live lives of passion and purpose, we have to take risks, we have to face our fears of being wrong. The people I admire most have lived lives that were genuine, heartfelt and purposeful. These people don't have lives that are mistake-free, in fact there lives are full of wrong turns and detours, they just embraced these changes as part of the vibrancy of life.
Don't let Stable Sue rule your life. Embrace the passion and purpose of your life. Take a good hard look at where you are holding yourself back because you are afraid of making a mistake and start making baby steps towards change. Remember--I am hear to help! Contact me for a free 20 minute consultation so we can chat about how I can help you start making changes towards a more passionate, vibrant life.
What reasons do you give yourself (or have given yourself in the past) for staying in a less then ideal job? How have you gotten unstuck? What do you struggle with when it comes to discovering what makes your heart sing?
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