When Saying 'For Now' Becomes Dangerous.

I have seen the play Avenue Q a couple of times if you haven't seen it, it has been described as a Sesame Street for Adults.  One of my favorite songs is called For Now. I encourage you to view a version of the song above (thanks to katiekelly for the video)- and check out the lyrics below.

The theme of the song is that whatever we are doing it is only 'for now' so if you are unhappy in your job, don't know what comes next, or just plain unhappy with life, it is only temporary and it WILL get better.

What I love about this song is it takes the pressure off--whatever issue, problem or concern we are having is only 'for now'.  We don't have to figure it all out 'right now' we need to be enjoying life in the moment with all the good and the bad.

But what I find too frequently is that many of us get stuck in 'for now' for WAY too long.

We think:

• 'for now' this relationship is ok.
• 'for now' this job will do.
• 'for now' it's ok that I am miserable.

Don't get me wrong we all need to take jobs we don't like in order to make ends meet or gain experience.  We have all learned A LOT from bad relationships and we all go through periods of bad times.  But when the 'for now' becomes a mantra, an excuse to stay stuck THEN we have a problem.

There is a fine line between:

• giving yourself a break and taking back some of the pressure to 'find your passion' so you can really 'hear' yourself and your intuition
• allowing yourself some time to heal from a tragedy or set back.
• taking time to really enjoy life and figure out what comes next.
• recognizing that this job is temporary while you earn enough to go back to school or pay off student loans etc. 

AND

• convincing yourself that being stuck and unhappy is ok.
• allowing fears and insecurities get in the way of living happier.
• stop listening to your gut and listening to all the 'nay sayers' instead.
• ignoring your dreams all together and slugging through life.

Too often I see clients in my office who have sold themselves the 'for now' mantra for too many years. They have stayed in unhappy jobs, continued with dead end relationships only to be disgruntled and miserable years later.

How do I prevent this you might be asking?

Hands down you have to be honest with yourself.

• Are you settling with life or enjoying your life?
• Is the job you hate REALLY helping you achieve your goals or has the 'stopgap' become permanent?
• Is that relationship REALLY supporting you and making you feel good about yourself or are you giving way more then you are getting?
• Right now, do you have any dreams that you aren't pursuing (even in baby steps) if no, why? and how can you start pursuing them?

Be honest with where you are in your life.  Listen to your gut. Name your dreams and pursue them  in baby steps. Remember that 'for now' can be a blessing and it can keep us stuck.

What do you think?  Has the 'for now' mantra been holding you back? Has there been a time in your life when it has?

*********************************************************************************

Wanting to get out of your 'for now' rut.  Come join the So, What Comes Next Group.

Group starts January 22nd and runs for 6 weeks.  Space is limited

Are you interested in getting unstuck in your career, relationship or life in general with the support of other like-minded individuals?  Get more information here

For Now Lyrics

PRINCETON:  Why does everything have to be so hard?

GARY COLEMAN:  Maybe you'll never find your purpose.

CHRISTMAS EVE:  Lots of people don't

PRINCETON:  But then- I don't know why I'm even alive!

KATE MONSTER:Well, who does, really?  Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied.

BRIAN: Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside.

GARY COLEMAN: Take a breath, Look around,

BRIAN: Swallow your pride,

KATE MONSTER: For now...

BRIAN, KATE, GARY, CHRISTMAS EVE: For now...

NICKY: Nothing lasts,

ROD: Life goes on,

NICKY: Full of surprises.

ROD: You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.

CHRISTMAS EVE: You're going to have to make a few compromises... For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER: For now...

ALL: But only for now! (For now) Only for now! (For now) Only for now! (For now) Only for now!

LUCY: For now we're healthy.

BRIAN: For now we're employed.

BAD IDEA BEARS: For now we're happy...

KATE MONSTER: If not overjoyed.

PRINCETON: And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now...

GARY COLEMAN: For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER: For now...

KATE MONSTER: For now...

ALL: But only for now! (For now) Only for now! (For now) Only for now! (For now) Only for now!
Only for now! (For now there's life!) Only for now! (For now there's love!) Only for now! (For now there's work!) For now there's happiness! But only for now! (For now discomfort!) Only for now! (For now there's friendship!) Only for now (For now!) Only for now!
Only for now! (Sex!) Is only for now! (Your hair!) Is only for now! (George Bush!) Is only for now!
Don't stress, Relax, Let life roll off your backs Except for death and paying taxes, Everything in life is only for now!

NICKY: Each time you smile...

ALL: ...Only for now

KATE MONSTER: It'll only last a while.

ALL:  ...Only for now

PRINCETON:  Life may be scary...

ALL:  ...Only for now But it's only temporary

PRINCETON:Everything in life is only for now.