Monday, January 11, 2010

What if this is it? Is just being you enough?

Yesterday I was listening to Marianne Williamson. She is one of my favorite psychology/spirituality/self-help authors.  She is famous for her work in the course in miracles, and has given and recorded many lectures on that topic.  One of them I particularly love and admit have listened to many, many times is called Letting Go and Becoming.  Last night, as I was driving to a friends house I was listening to it for the millionth time and was once again inspired.

With the turn of the new year I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to 'set my goals', 'make changes', this has to be the year when I 'accomplish something' so I am putting a lot of excess ego-centric pressure on myself and my business. Admittedly I have gotten stuck in the 'all be happy when' syndrome.

 EVERY time I listen to this lecture I am struck by one sentence and it wows me every time:
"Happiness comes from the decision to be happy.  And with that decision comes the realization that NOTHING can be added to my life to make it any better. THIS IS IT! and you go 'oh no' and that is the despair we are trying to avoid because we say to ourselves, 'oh this can't be it because there is not enough here'" --Mariann Williamson
She goes on to say how in order to avoid the despair of thinking this is it--we continue to look outside of ourselves to finally have enough and it is a never ending cycle.

What I find most interesting about this quote is how my reaction to it has changed over the years.  Like I said I have listened to this lecture probably close to a dozen times over the past 10 years.  The first time I listened to it I couldn't even hear what she was saying because I was under the belief that 'no way was I enough'.  Yes, that would be something I would LIKE to feel but the concept was so foreign to me it couldn't even connect in my brain.  Then a few years later I began to feel the despair that she talked about, the utter realization and disappointment that it doesn't matter how much I try succeed or learn or earn because I still feel despair inside. So I needed to come to the realization that I am valuable, lovable, worthy period.  And I allowed myself that despair and that grief process.

Now when I listen to those words it is like a wonderful reminder to me that I am enough and this IS it.  I actually can let out a big sigh of relief and say, 'thank GOD' I can quit trying to be more loving, better organized, more diligent, more extroverted etc.  I am enough period and if I start working with what I have, start being grateful for what I have then I can move forward and live happier.

I am continually amazed with my life, and my clients lives how living happier is not only a choice it is a process.  It is a process of recongizing where we are and allowing ourselves to just BE in that spot.  For some of you reading this post, that quote will be a totally foreign weird scary concept, for some of you it will be a wonderful ah ha, or it might be a reminder of something you forgot years ago.

Regardless of where you are in the live happier process--the goal is to live happier period.  To remember you are enough, you have been given wonderful unique gifts that add value to the world and your job is to express those in the most loving joyous manner.  This is it.  We keep growing and learning but no matter where we are in the process, no matter how much wisdom, knowledge, money, success we have we are enough  because this is it.  There IS enough here and I am grateful for all of it.  The insecurities, the drive to succeed, the procrastion, the doubt, the insights, the need to clarify constantly all of it makes up the unique, nuanced, eccentric me.  For today, stop trying to be a better you or gain more stuff. Today just be you.

What are your thoughts on the concept: Nothing can be added to my life to make it any better. This is it.? 
What emotions does it stir in you?
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