Worrying: The Road to Nowhere

Ah worry.  It takes so many forms.
We spend our precious days, minutes, time worrying about:

• paying the bills
• 'what might happen'
• 'what will they think of me'
• 'what if I fail'
• your kids, your health, your parents, your partner, your job, your weight, your life AHH!  

The list can go on and on and on and on.

But you know what worrying does: absolutely nothing.  Yep, as an experienced worrier I can tell you worrying does nothing, but it makes you FEEL and THINK like you are doing something.  It makes you feel like you are taking action, holding vigilance, being 'on guard'.

Honestly you can worry until, as they say, the cows come home and at the end of the day:

• you could go into debt
• your life could change in an instant
• people might say terrible things about you
• you could fail
• your kids could get sick
• your parents will die (eventually)
• your job could be cut

And worrying will have done nothing.  Basically,you will have wasted a lot of valuable time when you could have been:

• getting financial help, a loan or a part time job
• enjoying your life and the blessings of the day
• trusting that those who love you support you and the rest just don't matter
• failure is a part of life.  Not failing means you haven't really tried anything.
• embracing, loving, and spending time with your kids.  Give them the best of you and love them unconditionally.
• same goes for your parents.  Thank them for bringing you into this world and doing the best they could with what they had as they raised you.
• working as hard as you can and doing the work you love.  

Worrying gives us the illusion of action when worrying just keeps us stuck and unhappy.  Letting go of the habit of worry is an ongoing process.  

First it requires: recognizing the habit.  Noticing when you are stuck in worry.  

Then: being curious about what is really going on?  

Sometimes worry is simply a way of convincing ourselves we are taking action when we aren't.  If this is the case and you are worrying about calling a debt collector to set up a payment plan, then just take real action.  Get support if you need it but then just DO it.  

Sometimes worry is hiding something else. Maybe you catch yourself worrying about your kids' health when in reality you are feeling sad and scared for your friend's child who was just diagnosed with cancer.   Worrying sometimes helps us feel more in control in an out of control world; again because we feel like worrying is helping. But worrying about your kids won't help your friend's child. Acknowledge that and give yourself big hugs around that one.  Feel sad, scared, unsure and insecure for your friend and her family.  Then feel the joy, happiness and relief that your kids are healthy right now. Send a card; make dinners DO something for your friend while embracing, loving and appreciating your family. 

One of the tricks with worry is to find out what's underneath--what is the feeling? And then if you can DO something even if that action is simply to just care for yourself and give yourself some love and support.  Love trumps worry any day.