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I am excited to be back. For those of you who don't know I had surgery a month ago today and have been at home recovering. It has been a challenging road but I am feeling much better and almost back to myself.
To be quite honest, now that I am on the other side of it the break was quite nice. Prior to having surgery I was in superwoman mode. Meaning I was running from thing to thing, checking things off my to-do list and measuring my days by how much I got done. So fast forward to me being trapped on the couch, unable to do much of anything without help from my nearest and dearest. I was 100% dependent and for someone who loves to do for herself that is quite challenging.
I confess I spent the first week beating myself up for being so weak and dependent. It was humbling to realize that even though I have come a LONG way in admitting my weaknesses and vulnerabilities, the need to be superwoman can still trigger me. It was a reminder to myself that we always are spiraling up and re-learning the same lessons just at different places.
Bottom line control is an illusion. Running from thing to thing, checking items off our to-do list doesn't give us more control, doesn't make us more engaged, doesn't make us 'better' people. Yes, we get things done and yes, we are responsible high functioning people. But when the running overtakes the being, it is time to slow down. Superwoman mode keeps us from experiencing our lives. It keeps us from connecting with our families, our spouses and our kids. Superwoman mode is an illusion.
You know what I realized by taking a few weeks off to recover? The world kept going. I know you are thinking 'duh?' 'of course it did'. But when I am at my worst and truly stuck in superwoman mode I almost feel like the world will collapse if I don't get everything done. (Can you relate?) As if the whole world depends on me getting the laundry done or finishing up the dishes. I owe this lesson to my nearest and dearest who doesn't quite have the same eye for detail that I do. And when I would walk through the kitchen and see the dirty dishes piling up I realized no one would die from dirty dishes, the world keeps rotating regardless.
What a freeing thought?!? The world keeps rotating. It has become my mantra these past few weeks. If you too suffer from superwoman syndrome--I highly recommend a little dose of reality that no matter how much you do or don't check off the list--the world will keep rotating. Maybe not as smoothly, maybe not as timely, but stuff will get done.
Are you just plain tired of living the superwoman illusion? Take off your cape and sign up for a free 20 minutes session together we can let it go of the illusion and start embracing your life.
