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Breathe
Frequently we get so caught up in the frenzy that is the holidays—shopping, parties, cooking, baking, wrapping—we forget to relax and breathe. Take some pause time and savor the time of year. Savor your family, friends, the joy of watching your children unwrap their presents, or the beauty of the tree or the fun of gathering with friends or family. Take time to breathe, sleep and eat properly. Take care of yourself.
Set your plan
What is it YOU want to get out of the holidays? What is your favorite part of the holiday season? Finding the perfect gift, wrapping, baking cookies or hanging with family. What is your least favorite part? Finding the perfect gift, wrapping, baking cookies or hanging with family. Make sure you engage in the activities you enjoy and limit the activities you don’t enjoy. No one says you HAVE to do everything—if you don’t like baking, buy the cookies. If you hate wrapping--use gift bags. The holidays are suppose to be a time of joy, so pay attention to what you enjoy about the holidays and engage in those activities.
Let go of perfection
The holidays, like life, are messy. They rarely go according to plan so let go of the need for perfection. Instead enjoy the foibles and mess-ups that happen because they are a part of the experience. Again if you KNOW you love the act of baking cookies than the fact that one tray is a little too burnt it isn’t the end of the world, it is a part of baking. There is no such thing as a perfect family holiday. Families argue and fight presents get broken and mishaps happen. Rather than shooting for perfection find joy and humor in the inevitable mishaps.
SpeNDing time with Family isn’t always joyful.
In fact sometimes it can be challenging and painful. So remember that you might have to go to Aunt Sally’s for Christmas dinner but that doesn’t mean you have to stay 5 hours and engage in the passive aggressive banter. It is important to maintain your own sense of self at family gatherings and if you have a family that is not supportive or tends to belittle you—you don’t have to engage in that behavior. It is helpful to think of yourself in a plexiglass box. As family members engage in activities or say things that are harmful or hurtful they just hit the box. The negative patterns don’t have to stick to you or your self worth.
A friend of mine told me the story she had heard about Buddha. Buddha was walking through town and ran into a man who began to give him a mouthful of negative criticism. When the man finished Buddha looked at him and said, "No Thank you, I don't accept your thoughts, and I am giving them back to you because really they have more to do with you than me." So true. Many times when people say negative things about us it is more about them then us. When these activities occur simply remove yourself as quickly as possible. Make sure to have people you can vent to or with who will help you not take in the negative thoughts.
May you and those close to you have a wonderful holiday season!
