An Open Letter to Self Development Junkies.

Hello My Dear,

My love.  I know you. I can so relate to you. The hunger for more books, more articles, more resources that will tell you how to be better, kinder, gentler, happier.  I know the joy from thinking this resources, this tip, this idea will be the answer, I know the exhaustion that comes from always wanting to be better, to figure it out, to really KNOW yourself.

I know you believe if only you:

• had more gratitude
• did more meditation
• ate healthier
• worked out more
• journaled more
• self reflected more
• read more
• had more awareness
• just read the right book, 
• took the right class you would achieve enlightenment...you would be ok.

Well here's the truth.  All that 'more' won't help.  Yes, gratitude is wonderful, so is meditation and all the things listed above do help us live happier.  Self development exercises are there to help us feel better--not pile on more 'shoulds' or 'if-onlys'.  Self development exercises are there to relax us, get us back in touch with our selves, our lives and enable us to make empowered decisions.  They are not there to make us feel less than, belittled or shamed.  They are not there to make us feel like failures or losers.

When self development exercises become a way that we beat ourselves up or belittle ourselves we are in trouble.  Frequently what happens is we have turned our 'I'll be happy when'  into the quest for the perfect self.  The perfect self quest is no better than questing for the perfect job, perfect mate or perfect house.  Perfect doesn't exist.  In fact, you are wonderful just the way you are: imperfect, flawed, questing, trying and being you.

So today I ask you to stop questing.  Stop focusing on all the things you SHOULD be doing to be a better person.  Today I ask you to Just Be You.  Just be yourself.  And by being yourself being true to yourself, listening to your inner wisdom, you will be living happier.

Just be you.

As a friend of mine said, "Today I am going to just hold the space for me."

Love,

Nancy Jane Smith, A Recovering Self Development Junkie